The Liberatory Reconnection Collective
Dear Reader,
Human relationships are messy. We will disappoint one another. Miscommunications, missed signals, overwhelm, silence, and hurt—they are all part of being in relationship. Conflict isn’t a sign that something is broken. It’s a sign that we are human, that we are in connection, that we care.
What determines the strength and sustainability of a relationship isn’t whether rupture happens—it’s whether we are willing to move toward repair. And repair requires accountability.
Two recent experiences brought this into focus for me.
In one instance, a person I was once friends with reached out long after we had a falling out. Their message was composed and thoughtful on the surface, but it lacked accountability. There was no real acknowledgment of the harm or their part in what occurred. Rather than bringing us closer, it left me feeling more distraught and my body clearly signaled to me that this was not a safe person to reenter a relationship with.
In another situation, someone else I care about fell through on a commitment without letting me know. When I reached out to share how it had impacted me, they responded quickly with genuine remorse. They named what happened, took responsibility without defensiveness, and offered a heartfelt apology. I felt a huge sense of relief and all my resentment melted away. That moment created an opening—a way back into relationship.
The difference between the two? Accountability. Not perfection or eloquence, but a willingness to take ownership and stay connected in the hard moments.
These two stories hold a clear truth: repair is possible when accountability is present.
Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t preserve connection—it erodes it. Real care looks like entering into discomfort because the relationship matters. It means saying, “This hurt me,” and trusting that naming the pain is an act of love. It also means taking responsibility and making amends when someone holds us accountable. Sometimes, it’s both at the same time.
Accountability isn’t about blame. It’s about honoring the relationship. It’s an invitation to return.
This week, I invite you to reflect:
- Where might there be a rupture in your life that longs for repair?
- What kind of apology or accountability helps you feel safe and seen?
- What would it take to begin a hard conversation—not to blame, but to rebuild?
Reconnection with each other isn’t about perfection. It’s about the ongoing choice to return, again and again.
In solidarity and with care,
Resources
For practicing repair
Murmurations: From Rupture to Repair by adrienne maree brown
Tips for practicing repair (aka apologizing)
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